So we haven’t seen Sid or Sally Squirrel for weeks now, after them being around almost every day. Tim spotted another visitor though, who left before we could figure out if it was one we already knew. This one seems substantially stupider though. Not only is it still out and about even though the weather has turned decidedly chilly, he tried to stash a peanut he’d found here: in the corner of our window. Right out in the open. Yeah, no-one else will ever think of looking for it there. Certainly not all the birds which nest in the trees all around here.

I have this narrative in my head now of a lazy squirrel that wakes up one morning in November, hung-over to all hell, and realises that it’s frosty and he’s seriously late for winter. And now he’s dashing around, cursing under his breath at the monster head-ache he’s got, stashing food any old place. All the good places are taken as well, so he ends up stuffing them in all sort of rubbish places. Since I’m an unabashed cynic though, the story ends with him lifting up a particularly grumpy cat’s tail and trying to stash an armful of brazil nuts under the cat, only to be unpleasantly and messily devoured.

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Last modified: February 06 2020.